It actually was a proper toast, thank you, for someone too willful and reluctant to express things more clearly than that, and willing to be a little free with the format. To the at times inconvenient and frightening insights that man is capable of, and to their limits both. A toast that lauds Di Feisheng as it should, too bad his insight doesn't extend to understanding that.
Li Lianhua takes refuge in his own drink, letting the comfortable burn of the alcohol warm him. It's a warmth that settles deep within his chest with Di Feisheng's bitchy retort, with the sweetness of its good humor and the tang of its hidden challenge, its unchanged pride and stubbornness. Li Lianhua smiles his boundless fondness into his cup before setting it down as well, his eyes shifting to the other man's unquiet hand, then risking a glance up to seek his gaze again.
Di Feisheng has always been the one person he knew could be trusted to see through all the noise of the world, to have nothing but disdain for all the frills and fabrications and distractions people hide behind, people build entire relationships and communities on. It makes him a blunt instrument at times. It makes him the kind of blade that cuts to the heart of things in one stroke when it matters.
But what Li Lianhua sometimes sees reflected in Di Feisheng's eyes when he looks at him, something worth winning, it's too hard to believe Di Feisheng is seeing anything but a ghost and mistaking it for a man. And yet, a traitorous foolish part of him wishes he could still be anything close to what Di Feisheng sees there...
So if Di Feisheng thinks the full weight of his attention isn't as thrilling as it is troublesome, Li Lianhua will really have to retract his toast.
It's good Di Feisheng's fidgeting is becoming of a sect leader, since he actually is one. But it also doesn't bode well for whatever comes out of those calculations, and Li Lianhua can only await it with a faint feeling of both curiosity and apprehension. And indeed, having to hear about their missing years proves that dread justified. As if he doesn't regret the loss of those years enough by himself. As if he hasn't tried again and again to make up for his mistakes toasting at his shifu's grave and in his shifu's home. But what's gone is gone.
Li Lianhua's gaze drops and he sighs, clicks his tongue with a wistful smile. The lightness of amusement in his voice is betrayed by a faint frown.
"Lao Di, that won't work. If toasts could make up for lost time, people would all be drunkards, eh? But you can't regain time any more than you can return spilled wine to the cup."
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Date: 2024-07-20 03:43 pm (UTC)and frighteninginsights that man is capable of, and to their limits both. A toast that lauds Di Feisheng as it should, too bad his insight doesn't extend to understanding that.Li Lianhua takes refuge in his own drink, letting the comfortable burn of the alcohol warm him. It's a warmth that settles deep within his chest with Di Feisheng's
bitchyretort, with the sweetness of its good humor and the tang of its hidden challenge, its unchanged pride and stubbornness. Li Lianhua smiles his boundless fondness into his cup before setting it down as well, his eyes shifting to the other man's unquiet hand, then risking a glance up to seek his gaze again.Di Feisheng has always been the one person he knew could be trusted to see through all the noise of the world, to have nothing but disdain for all the frills and fabrications and distractions people hide behind, people build entire relationships and communities on. It makes him a blunt instrument at times. It makes him the kind of blade that cuts to the heart of things in one stroke when it matters.
But what Li Lianhua sometimes sees reflected in Di Feisheng's eyes when he looks at him,
something worth winning, it's too hard to believe Di Feisheng is seeing anything but a ghost and mistaking it for a man. And yet, a traitorous foolish part of him wishes he could still be anything close to what Di Feisheng sees there...So if Di Feisheng thinks the full weight of his attention isn't as thrilling as it is troublesome, Li Lianhua will really have to retract his toast.
It's good Di Feisheng's fidgeting is becoming of a sect leader, since he actually is one. But it also doesn't bode well for whatever comes out of those calculations, and Li Lianhua can only await it with a faint feeling of both curiosity and apprehension. And indeed, having to hear about their missing years proves that dread justified. As if he doesn't regret the loss of those years enough by himself. As if he hasn't tried again and again to make up for his mistakes toasting at his shifu's grave and in his shifu's home. But what's gone is gone.
Li Lianhua's gaze drops and he sighs, clicks his tongue with a wistful smile. The lightness of amusement in his voice is betrayed by a faint frown.
"Lao Di, that won't work. If toasts could make up for lost time, people would all be drunkards, eh? But you can't regain time any more than you can return spilled wine to the cup."